Empty tank. Short fuse. Full plate. Bucket overflowing...There are endless ways to describe the feeling of being overwhelmed and stressed!

Adults, kids, teens, and in between, we all handle stress differently. When we feel calm and safe, it’s easier to pause, think things through, and manage challenges. But how do we learn to do that? Sometimes it’s because someone taught us, maybe they talked us through a difficult moment. Other times it’s because we watched how others cope. Those around us can be very powerful models. We may have even seen a t.v. show that provided coaching and guidance through characters and catchy songs (Think magic neighborhood with talking puppets...).

For many people though, coping strategies don’t come naturally. They may be “taught” skills like deep breathing or going to a calm space, but in the moment of stress, unexpected changes, or an overwhelming environment, those strategies can be very difficult to access and use, especially if there hasn’t been enough practice to make them feel automatic.

That’s where we can step in to help. Practicing or role-playing coping skills during calm moments can help them become more natural and comfortable. Just like we run safety drills, we can do “practice drills” for calming strategies. Turning practice into a game and offering encouragement or small rewards for trying out strategies can strengthen these skills even more.
Regular check-ins throughout the day can also make a big difference (Think, “Hey, how are you doing: Thumbs up, down, to the side?”). By noticing early signs of stress or overwhelm, we can encourage our family to use coping tools before the situation escalates, catching a spark before it becomes a fire.

Practicing our own strategies when we are calm and comfortable can also help us prepare for those inevitable curve balls our families throw us. In fact, why not take a quick moment now to check in with yourself and practice a coping strategy. Don’t forget a little reward after!